My Friend Made Me This Blog

Conversations I endured….guess where?

 

I need 12 feet of café curtain and I want this one.

That is the last of it and there isn’t 12 feet left on it.

Yes there is…there’s more.

Sorry madam that isn’t the same

Yes it is …look. 

Pains taking pointing out of the differences.

But it is the same...look.

Except for these features.

Oh…so you are saying it isn’t the same.

Yes

Well I’ll have 12 feet of this one.

Can I just ask how wide your windows are ?

12 feet.

Will you want the curtains to be riffled? Gathered? Wavy?

Of course.

If you only buy 12 they will hang flat.

No they won’t. They will be gathered.

Not if you only buy 12 feet.

Things deteriorated from then on as it turned out she had several windows, the stuff she had chosen seemed to be double hanging stuff and needed 2 rods or it could be divided….and THEN the poor girl had to explain how much all over again.

If the silly old bat said “but what I’m getting at is…..” one more time I would have had to throttle her with the café curtaining there and then and be damned but died a heroine to the Spotlight Staff.

I couldn’t stand it so I decided to forgo the material I kind of wanted and thought I’d just go to the front counter.

WHY DIDN’T I JUST DROP EVERYTHING AND LEAVE????????

In the queue behind ANOTHER old duckie who thought that if she wanted to use things for Christmas that made them 40% off…no matter what it was and no matter where in the shop she got it.

Long explanations and pissing about for about 10 mins…yes I’ll have that, how much is that , no I don’t want that one, but can I actually have that one, are you SURE it isn't 50% off? AAAAAARRRRRRRHHHHHHGGGGGGGGG

 Then she said she had forgotten to bring her discount voucher but the girl could just give her the money off.

NOT!!

More wrangling before she finally left.

OMG.

I think I need to not go there again for a little while.  Or drink heavily before I do.

And a picture of a not helpful Caramello sitting among the debris on the end of the bench. She had just been trying to eat the fish in the tank.

Ta Da

I tried for a cat free photo of the finished rug...and maybe since it is fresh out of the washing machine and dryer I was hoping for a fairly fur free gift....nope.

I need to be an octopus to stop 3 cats and take a photo!

The Mummy Re-Returns

You know the third movie in the series....the Jade Emperor??? Terracotta warriors brough to life etc etc.....well  the  sequel to it happenend in my front yard. Muppin and her sisters were having a lovely walk on their leads when a terracotta warrior attacked.

Poor Muppin managed to leap out of the way...although to be honest she was actually about a metre away when it fell. She was in no real danger!!!! And actually....since she had tangled her lead around the feet of the poor fella he didn't really have a choice but to fall on his face.
His mate didn't even help him up.


The sooky baby insisted on sleeping on my legs that night in case any other clay objects attacked!

 

 

 

How It's NOT Made

Step 1 Lie fabric on floor

Step 2 Remove cats

Step 3 Lie fabric on top of wadding

Step 4 Repeat step 2

Step 5 Try to cut around material not through kitten paws

Step 6 Repeat step 2

Step 7 Remember you have no backing fabric.

Step 8 Drive to Spotlight

Step 9 Go to buy ticket

Step 10 Swear

Step 10 Drive home to get purse left beside computer due to online shopping experience.

Step 11 Repeat Steps 8 and 9

Step 12 Buy perfect material...and spend $135.42 in the process on other STUFF

Step 13 Return home...put down new material

Step 14 Be amazed that backing material is an excellent colour match

Step 15 Repeat Step 2

Step 16 Lay out said backing material - discover it isn't wide enough

Step 17 Repeat step 10

Step 18 Resolve to get the words "This person is not allowed to buy fabric unless accompanied by a responsible adult" tattooed to my Spotlight card.

Step 19 Eat leftover nasi goring

Step 19 Post blog and go for a nap.

 

Swiss Finishing School

It was worth every penny I paid to turn Muppin into a perfect littly lady. Observe her demure and elegant pose.

She often lies lie this. I think she is trying to lull Cleo into a false sense of security. Take an exposed pose, wait till she comes to investigate, and then leap all over her. Poor Cleo.

This is her in homework helper mode. She does this and then I have to balance books on my lap to mark them.

Cute but NOT helpful. The kids love seeing the photos of the girls helping me do my homework. She isn't my only helper!

And let us not forget how much they enjoy craft. Sigh.

What Happens When.....

Temper-short

Week-long

Arms-full

Door- open

Cat----------

                           

Reaction- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

She's back inside safe and sound now though...I would be sitting here blogging otherwise.

She is also covered in some sort of oil....washing with shampoo will be required......KARMA!

Holiday

I am doing lots of jobs this holidays because last time I didn't do any.

I have a list...a big list.

One of the jobs is to blog.

 

TICK!

Telstra Suck

I am sooooooooooooooooooo sick of Telstra.

Yet again...for reasons which are totally beyond my powers of comprehension... they have decided to send my bill to a totally different address to the one at which I have lived for 20 years. Last time ...(I think I blogged) I was over charged, penalised and spent a considerable portion of my life on the phone to a bunch of very very very nice but completely and totally useless voices on the end of the phone line. I could just imagine them with their little sound machines that make the sounds of someone typing in order to fool you into thinking they might actually be doing something useful about your account problems. Either that or they are playing card games on line. It took weeks to sort out….and only after I paid them a fortune which it turns out I didn’t owe them since they were double charging for broadband and other billing errors. Honestly....it is just so damn frustrating. If I just upped and decided to rename all the kids in my class you can bet that the problem would be fixed with NO muzak and no interminable wait times on the phone in less than 10 mins.

Not so my experiences with Telstra. Although I did learn one valuable lesson last time. No matter what the question the automated voice bitch asks you if you say firmly words such as "I want to speak to a human" you get put through to an operator without any more button pushing. I wonder if screaming into the phone will do the same thing?!?!?

So it is all definitely fixed, again, and I will be getting my bill, again, in 3 working days, again....just like 3 weeks ago. I am neither holding my breath nor taking bets on the outcome. Just as well the cats don’t want to use the phone!

And now for something completely different.

A sleepy kitty helping with quilting and a naughty kitty killing my birthday slippers.

The irresistible lure of new quilts over came Caramello's dislike of Muppin....but see how close to the edge of the chair she is!
 

 

Why Do I bother?

I don't cook...and events like this are part of the reason why.

I had 4 lamb steaks. I bought them because my niece likes lamb and I was going to feed her one night this week but Dave's Noodle Box took care of that for the night she was here. I didn't want them to go to waste...especially at that price!!!!

I though I would have 2 for tea but cook them all and eat 2 for lunch the next day.

Yummy, juicy, lamb steaks.

I'm writing reports ( again) so I was looking for pretty much any excuse to take a break.

I cooked them and made mashed tatties, peas and red wine sauce ( it was a frozen left over in the freezer)....delicious.

I had just enjoyed 2 delicious mouthfuls when the phone rang.

I went to answer it and I couldn't find the phone...it was in the bed room.

So I talked on the phone....raffle ticket seller, usual spiel, bought tickets etc etc

Got back to my plate.

Muppin had taken one of the lamb steaks. Well I say "taken" but it was a bit worse than that. She had hooked it with one paw and dragged it off my plate --- and was eating it....while sitting on my laptop keyboard.

OMG - red wine sauce was sliding off it and dripping onto the keys. Part of me wanted to take a photo...but the other part of me...the third part...the part not SCREAMING....thought stopping any more food dripping between the keys was a priority. I grabbed her...still clutching the lambsteak and deposited her on the laundry floor...where she was happy to remain munching away.

Reports were suitably postphoned while i used all the pipe cleaners out of a craft kit to clean all the gunge off my keyboard. Congealed lamb fat, bits of mashed tatties and red wine sauce. It came out quite well although for the next hour of typing more "stuff" sometimes worked back up to the top. The laptop is fine....it works, nothing sticks, no more smell so it is all good.

As for the rest of the meal......there was a green squashed partial paw print on my report notes so she has clearly walked on the plate as well. By the time I cleaned up the rest was all cold anyway and had to be binned.

For tea I ended up eating the other 2 little steaks with my fingers.

 

Sigh.

 

She really enjoyed her lamb steak....little bitch.

Florence Nightingale

Although a nightingale would have a very short life span in this house!!! ( friend or potential snack!)

Poor Little Muppin has been off to the vet for de-sexing, micro-chipping and tattooing. She is feeling a bit poorly which is evident by the fact that she is zipped into her cat prison without complaining. I have added a comfy towel and a heat pad so she is quite happy. She likes to be where she can see someone though.

Her appetite is back, much to Cleo’s disgust...not as many left-overs to steal.

Thanks to Aunty2Paw for taking her and bringing her back from the vet. I don't like hospitals...animal or human.

So I am having a couple of days inside. Even as I type that I am laughing. I have basically spent 2 weeks inside. I have been out for the occasional lunch, shop or visit but this certainly isn't the first 2 days I have stayed in and pottered about.

I haven't got a picture of her scar...aren't you happy.

I see there is a "healthy at work" campaign starting in schools. They asked for suggestions...you have no idea how much restraint it took for me not to send suggestions. Bloody cheek. As if work doesn't interfere in my life enough now I am to be bombarded with hints, tips, suggestions and "opportunities" to be a fitter healthier me. Me...the person with about 9 weeks accumulated sick leave.....I am hardly ever off work. When I am not doing my job properly because of my fitness or health levels than maybe they have a right to interfere...until then let's just leave it with the mildest comment I can make about the whole idea...PISS OFF.